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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22842505">Back To You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/handlewithkara/pseuds/handlewithkara'>handlewithkara</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 16:03:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,199</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22842505</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/handlewithkara/pseuds/handlewithkara</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Mon-El returns to give back Kara's necklace. But does Kara even want it back?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kara Danvers/Mon-El</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Back To You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>English is not my first language and I don't have a beta reader :(</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He wishes he had the right words to tell her how much this hurts. How much it has meant to him, over the years. Whenever he was scared, or alone, or trapped, his hand would grasp the pendant. It always felt warm in his grip. It steadied him. It centered him. It gave him direction. It was his anchor when he was stranded in an unfamiliar future.</p><p>When he holds it, he thinks of it as letting her presence infuse him. He’s never taken it off, never let it slip completely from his grasp. He feels naked without it. There were times when he tried. Fuck. He wonders what his teammates would think of him if they realized the thought of him taking off a piece of jewelry is giving him anxiety. Of course, he also wonders how many of them already know.</p><p>So many times when he found himself at the precipice of an important decision, he reached for it, to him the strength to follow through. Thinking of HER. Thinking of what she would do, what she would think of him.</p><p>The first time he came back, he was unprepared, completely floored by seeing Kara again, by seeing her pain. He couldn’t bring himself to return the necklace. He clung to it. He still needed it.</p><p>But now? Seeing her again? In person? To see her strength, her courage. He thinks that maybe this time he’ll be stronger.</p><p>“Kara, I need to talk to you.” There is some suspicion in her eyes, but he lets him pull her aside, away, towards privacy. With clam hands, he reaches for his neck, opens the slender clasp to let it slip into his grip. The small gem dangles between his hands, helpless, innocent.</p><p>Her eyes widen upon seeing what he intends to do. Her brow furrows in anger.</p><p>“No,” she says.</p><p>“What? But, this is yours. It should be yours.”</p><p>Her glare is icy and so are her words. She spits them out like insults. “That was my gift. To you.”</p><p>“I know and it has meant the world to me.” He looks deeply into her eyes, sees the anger. Mon-El realizes that he isn’t reaching her. “You gave it to me to keep me safe. I’m safe now. Better, stronger. It’s better with you.“ <em>To protect you. To protect your heart.</em></p><p>Her cheeks flush. Her speech grows more heated. She’s so angry. So beautiful. So close.</p><p>“If you didn’t want it, if you are dating somebody new, why didn’t you just throw it away?”</p><p>“Kara, listen,” he grabs her face with both hands, forcing her to look at him. Big mistake. He was never good at dealing with her comet glare. What exactly is he supposed to do now? All his plans, all the things he meant to say, they are gone. His voice drops down to a secretive whisper. “I never deserved it.” Tears prickle in his eyes as he yearns to put into context what he feels. “This necklace, it is you. It belongs to you. I want you to be happy. I want you to give this to somebody you truly care about. Somebody who deserves it.”</p><p>“No,” Kara says stubbornly. “I gave it to you, I’m not taking it back.”</p><p>He doesn’t know what he wants more: to shake her, to kiss her. Or wrap his arms around her and hold her tight. It physically hurts not to have her in his arms. To be around her, it makes him feel like he has stolen from her. And he needs to give it back to her.</p><p>She, she gave this to him. She gave him a piece of her past, a piece of her heart. And he needs to give it back. Mon-El doesn’t delude himself into believing that she needs him to. If anything, what’s more like Kara than to soldier on with a tattered heart. He wants to give her something, something to make her better, more whole. Anything to help out.</p><p>He’s tried so hard to make her proud. This is the only thing he’s left to give. “Please, Kara, I need this.”</p><p>Her eyes search his, flabbergasted by his actions. When she doesn’t find what she’s looking for, she pulls away in anger.</p><p>“No,” Kara snarls stubbornly and pushes him away. “No,” she repeats and takes off, leaving him behind, helpless and confused.</p><p>*~*~*</p><p>“You called for me.”</p><p>“I did.”</p><p>She throws the door open, letting him into her dark apartment. Kara is quietly fuming, Mon-El can tell. His throat constricts as his eyes take in the dark silhouettes of the oh so familiar furniture. The one he still remembers, bit by bit, from back when this was his home, his life, the center of his universe.</p><p>Kara turns her back to him and begins rummaging through a drawer. Her back stiffens when she finds the object of her probe.</p><p>“There!” She throws it at him and he catches it against his chest. He doesn’t have to check to know what it is.</p><p>“You never used it.”</p><p>“Why would I?” Her words are biting and sarcastic, as she stands close to him, combative stance, looking up at him with fire in her eyes.</p><p>What had he expected of her, really? That she would make contact with him, what for? To be friends again? That she would call him for help so he would have a chance to prove himself to her again, to see her again. To feel like he could achieve something for her, at least?</p><p>“I guess a part of me hoped that one day we could talk. That you’d visit me. That I could show you everything we have built.”</p><p>He rubs his eyelids with the heel of his hand. “Fuck. I feel like a pathetic little boy who spent the day drawing a picture for mommy only to realize that she doesn’t care,” he jokes.</p><p>Kara’s eyes widen and her hands shoot forward to clasp his.</p><p>“On some fucked up level, I think I was trying to recreate you. To build the Legion, to build a world in your memory. So I would have things that reminded me of you.”</p><p>“To feel less alone.”</p><p>“Yes.” They fall silent, till Mon-El can’t bear it anymore. “It would mean the world to me if you came to see it.”</p><p>“Maybe I’m scared,” she murmurs. “What if I like it? You might, you might have noticed that it’s not always easy for me to let go.”</p><p>“Trust me, you won’t.” Upon her questioning gaze, he explains. “It’s flawed. After all, I made it. Besides, I know it would never be home to you. After all, it has no Alex,” he jokes.</p><p>“I’m not sure I believe that.”</p><p>Mon-El wonders what it would mean, if she really did come. What it would mean if she gave it her blessing. Would that be closure? To his work, to that part of his life? Is that what he wants, is that what Kara is afraid of? The thin chain of her necklace feels like it’s pulsing against his breastbone.</p><p>“Mon-El,” she asks quietly. “Are you still in love with me?”</p><p>He smiles sadly. “Always.”</p>
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